My left arm numb and asleep, I woke up from my nap feeling quite disoriented.
Wuhhh? Is the sun rising…? Did I sleep through the evening? And the night?! Crap, I have to go to class! Wait…it’s Saturday…and summer school is over… mental forehead smack.
Then I checked the time. 8:12pm. Oh…ha, still Friday night. It was a tiring day. At one point, or several, I worked myself up in the anxious department. Sometimes I admire the people who can share their troubles and worries openly. It’s something that I struggle with, even with my closest friends, the best of friends. You can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped. The thing is…there are so many things. So many reasons not to. Feelings and insecurities, rational and not. I could go on for hours. Though I am slowly, slowly learning. Accepting.
I predict that I’ll be worried in the back of my mind for the coming month, for something specifically, until I hear the results. In the meantime, even though summer school is over, there is still work to be done! And of course fun to be had. :)
“I swear to you gentlemen, that to be overly conscious is a sickness, a real, thorough sickness.”
-Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground